July 2025 On The Side:
Photo by Brian Lundquist via UnSplash
by Carol Mason Shrader
Our home has a swimming pool located in a back corner of the yard. It isn’t fancy and honestly, though I don’t know the history, I would say it was put in when the house was built in the early 1940s. The adjacent pool “house” – and I use that term very very loosely, was obviously built then too. It is a mess. Over our ownership, I have done everything I know to spruce up the area. I hung beadboard in the interior, added some shelving, and even some artwork. I painted the concrete floor and even stenciled the cutest “rug” (Let’s just say that was a pandemic project!). And when it still looked sad, I bit the bullet and painted the entire structure (which five years later is in desperate need of re-doing!).
This weekend we are hosting Wade’s team and their families for swimming and barbecue. I can’t wait. I love to see that pool filled with giggling children!! But of course, this gathering means I have been scrubbing, adding flowers, and sewing pillows to freshen up the little gathering space at the pool house (I really should just call it a shed! Ha). But alas, last night the power to the structure went out. No amount of turning the breaker off and on (the extent of my electrical knowledge) fixed the problem. And no electricity means no fridge. No electricity means no pool equipment running. You get the picture.
So, I called an electrician early this morning. He has just left. He worked for a couple of hours chasing wires, testing outlets, removing and replacing breakers and outlets and wires before he came to tell me the good news: he was able to restore power. As well as the bad: the wiring out there is old and brittle and bad.
Listening to him outline the ugliness of the wiring situation struck me as an almost comical illustration of my heart – and yours to be honest.
Please hear my heart here: I love my hair stylist; I love the latest shade of lipstick; and I can invest some money when a moisturizer promises to work miracles. But I fear often in medical marriages, there can be a propensity to place too much emphasis on our appearance. Oh dear ones, our outer appearance can be toned, dressed in the latest fashions, and have the perfect shade of lipstick. But if our inside wiring is brittle, rotting, and well, ugly, we are as useless as a pool structure with no power.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Prov. 31:30 (NIV)
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3a, 4 (NIV)
Ok, friends, I went digging on this one because frankly I needed some assurance that a quiet spirit and BEING quiet are not the same thing! The amplified Bible assures me I can still talk as it expounds on the meaning of quiet spirit: one who is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature.
Serene can be a challenge when we haven’t seen our husband for days, the children are colicky, and we have not had time to even shower in a couple of days. I know. I get it.
And anxiety seems to be at an epic high nationwide these days. How is it possible to quieten our anxiety?
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6-7 (NIV)
Do not fly through the reading of these verses.
To obtain that peace of God – the peace that is beyond our comprehension – we are to not simply turn things over to Him, but also to be grateful for the stressor, the challenge, the thing causing our anxiety.
Oof.
I am going to be completely transparent here and tell you that I have prayed many many times for God to help me be grateful for whatever challenge is currently facing me. I have had to ask for God to help me with the thanksgiving piece in order to present my requests, in order to obtain His perfect peace. And somedays, dear ones, the need to be grateful requires minute by minute prayer.
This month I am asking God to renew our wiring! My prayer for you is that your spirit will be serene, your anxiety calmed, and yes, for your lipstick not to smear!
Love and Blessings,
Carol M. Shrader
Carol M. Shrader is wife to her wonderful Wade, a pediatric orthopedic surgeon in Wilmington, Delaware. She is always on the quest for a perfect lipstick – a trait she gleaned from her mother – and as the mom of four adults understands all too well the importance of turning all things over to God.
