March 2026 On the Side: Do We Have a Choice?
Photo by Paz Arando via UnSplash
by Carol Mason Shrader
The process had stretched us as far as we could be stretched – financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Wade had organized his residency interviews so that he could fly in for one and drive to as many as possible from that city. We had scrimped and saved and parsed out loan dollars to ensure his travel. And then we had talked and researched and made spreadsheets where my former-engineer of a husband had assigned point values to every pro and every con. We had prayed through every choice and then gone through the whole process again.
The night before his rank list was due, we reworked the entire thing.
We felt like the weight of the world was sitting on us. This decision felt so large and the ramifications endless. Where would he learn the most? Which place would help him advance his career? Where would our children succeed? Where would I find my people? Churches? Weather? Proximity to my mama??
It was more than a couple years ago, and yet the act of typing about it causes a tightening in my chest that reminds me of the intense stress we felt making these decisions.
Match Day 2026 is right around the corner. And no matter where you are in your journey, you know the importance of that day. We control very little about Match Day really. Our husbands put in the work, they apply, do the interviews and make their rank list, and yet, the process is ultimately out of their – and our – hands.
In the Book of Ruth we are introduced to a young woman who is also facing a difficult choice. Her husband has just passed, and she must decide to stay in the land of her own family or be loyal to her mother-in-law who has decided to return to her native town of Bethlehem. But Ruth choses to go with her, to leave her own homeland, to journey alongside Naomi.
We were studying this young, widowed daughter-in-law in our local Side by Side chapter when the question was raised regarding Ruth’s choice – “But we don’t have a choice about where we go, do we? We must follow our husbands.”
The question is relevant no matter where we are in our journey – and perhaps most pointedly this month.
Do we have a choice? The match is the culmination of interviews and an algorithm that we may never understand, putting our guys in a program to further their training for years. Fellowship following residency is much the same. Often, our first practice after training is a learning/growing experience and our men opt for a change – more academic, less academic, private, etc. And sometimes, years into their practice, opportunities arise that require more moves.
Do we have a choice?
Well, we might not get the kind of moment on the road to Bethlehem where we declare THIS is our choice – as Ruth did to Naomi, her mother-in-law. But oh, dear ones, we have a choice.
We can choose to whine about yet ANOTHER move. We can choose to complain about leaving friends and family. We can choose to refuse toplug in to our new town. We can choose to complain about the weather, the distance to our mama, the worship music at the local church. Oh yes, we can choose to make him miserable for a little or a lot of his time at home.
We have choices.
By following Naomi, Ruth left the provision of her father’s home. Without a husband or father-in-law, she and Naomi had to live at the mercy – and on the benevolence -- of Naomi’s relatives. They had no home. They had no food. Ruth not only moved to a distant land, but she also now has to determine how to care for her mother-in-law.
In my mind, the example Ruth sets with her attitude is one of the richest lessons of all in this book of the Old Testament. Do not gloss over Ruth 2:2:
“And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, ‘Let me go to the fields and pick up leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.’" (NIV)
Don’t miss this example of humility: Ruth asked to go follow behind the workers in order to pick up anything they dropped. She asked to go get leftovers. In the sun. Where she could be punished for trespassing. Or worse, harmed by the workers.
But Ruth went because she needed to provide for her mother-in-law. Ruth went because she was choosing to joyfully and oh-so-humbly serve Naomi.
God richly blessed Ruth’s servant heart – if you haven’t lately, please go to your Old Testament and read the story of Ruth. Her willingness topick up leftovers to provide food for her mother-in-law lands her smack in the lineage of JESUS! What a reward!
We have a choice.
We can choose to allow the process to grow our faith. We can choose to trust God to place us where we can glean exactly what He needs us toglean in order to serve Him and his people. We can choose to bloom where we are planted.
Wherever you are in your journey this month, I am asking God to provide the sustenance you need. And if this is YOUR Match season, I am boldly asking God to hold you close and allow you to rest in His plan.
Blessings dear ones,
Carol
Carol Mason Shrader still remembers reading “Mayo Clinic” on Wade’s Match Day letter and it was a long time ago. She is pretty sure the small print said, “House with a yard and swing set” or at least that was what she celebrated that day!
