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Laura McLean Thomas
No one likes to talk about it. But if you are alive, you have felt lonely at some point. As human beings we were made for community. There are seasons, however, when community is very hard to find.
There are so many times that we, as medical wives, can feel lonely. I have felt lonely as a medical student wife working full time to pay the bills; as a resident wife moving 900 miles away from everything familiar; as a fellow wife with three little ones; and as an attending wife of a busy doctor on call. Different cities and different stages, but phases of loneliness still come.
I want to offer this encouragement to you if you are in a season of loneliness: you are not alone.
I know. I have rolled my eyes at this saying a time or two myself, yet it is true. Isaiah 41:10 reassures us that the Lord is right by our sides, and Psalm 139 clearly tells us that God is near to us every single day of our lives. Additionally, you are in good company with women near and far.
What I have learned in my seasons of loneliness is to seek the Lord. He is always there, and He wants to have time with us. So, instead of trying to drown out our feelings with binge-watching or doomscrolling, we need to lean into the Lord.
The Bible is full of people who experienced loneliness. Abraham, Joseph, Moses, and Daniel were strangers in a strange land. Hagar wandered alone in the desert and thought she was forgotten, and Mary was given an enormous gift that very few others understood. God met each of these people in the midst of their loneliness. One of these stories has my favorite description of the Lord.
It is about 870 BC, and Elijah is alone in the wilderness, hiding from queen Jezebel who wants to kill him. He is the last of the Lord’s prophets alive in Israel, and he is utterly exhausted. An angel of the Lord tells him to meet God on Mt Sinai (aka Mt Horeb):
“… And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood the entrance to the cave. And a voice said, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’” (1 Kings 19:11-13 NLT)
God comes to talk with Elijah. And while His holy presence is surrounded by awesome power, Elijah knows that isn’t the heart of God. He knows that the heart of God is peace. So, he waits until he hears the Lord’s quiet voice before he comes out to speak with the Him. And God starts the conversation with essentially, “what’s up, Elijah?”.
When we spend time with the Almighty, we learn to listen for his peaceful voice. It is the voice that called Abraham his friend, spoke face-to-face with Moses, revealed dreams to Joseph, and gave Daniel wisdom. It is the voice that told Hagar that he saw her and promised Mary that she carried the Hope of all mankind. He longs to reveal himself to you, to give you wisdom and tell you that he sees you. He wants to have the kind of relationship with you that will carry you through times of loneliness and in seasons full of community.
The prophet Hosea encourages us: “Oh, that we might know the LORD! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring” (Hosea 6:3 NLT).
While we can use the lonely times to strengthen our relationship with the Lord, God doesn’t want anyone to be a hermit. In fact, God said of Adam, “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Solomon talked about the importance of friendship in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 saying, “a cord of three strands is not easily broken”, and the writer of Hebrews admonished the early Christians to not give up meeting together (Hebrews 10). So don’t give up looking for friends! God might just be using this time to build you up into someone who can encourage another lonely soul.
“…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3b-4 NLT)
Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for always being willing to meet us where we are, listen to our hearts and give us peace. Please come alongside anyone reading this that is in a lonely season and give them the comfort they need as they draw near to you. Amen
Side By Side was created as a community for women who were seeking connection with other women who understand our unique journey. If you aren’t already involved in a chapter, please go to our website and see if there is one in your area. If there isn’t a chapter near you, check out our online communities or maybe even pray about starting a chapter where you live.
Laura is the wife of an Interventional Pulmonologist living in the Palm Desert, CA whose three kids have grown up way too quickly! She is so thankful for all the ways Side By Side has walked alongside her in this med-wife journey, especially the chapters that she has had the privilege to be a part of.
